take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
zippers are such a cool invention
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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