what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
