I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
