Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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