i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
