my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
