right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
