My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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