he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
