you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
