haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
