In the future we'll all be gay
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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