I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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