is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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