3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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