You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
