Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
