In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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