I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
