5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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