I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
