ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
