his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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