The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
