drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
