sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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