im having a threesome with these popsicles
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
