My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
