I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize