So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
