your thong is hanging out like whoa
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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