remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Come see our sink grown plant.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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