Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
