This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize