i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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