remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
