when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
