The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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