ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
