What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
