I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
