fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
