I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
