Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize