we have pet lesbian snakes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
