i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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