i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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