You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
