Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
