More tranny stories later!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
