Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
