I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
