i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
