if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
