I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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