I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
