why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
