Whod you bang
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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