what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
