All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
