I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize