I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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