I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you would pick up someone in the library
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
