clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
