She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
