If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
