she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize