it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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