I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
