I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
