she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize