OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Randomize
